Was I sexually assaulted/raped?
The exact definition of “rape,” “sexual assault,” “sexual abuse” and similar terms differs by state. The wording can get confusing, since states often use different words to mean the same thing or use the same words to describe different things. For a precise legal definition, please see our page on Sexual Assault Law in Montana.
Here are some general guidelines based on the definitions used by the U.S. Justice Department.
Please note that these definitions are a bit graphic, which is inevitable when describing crimes this violent.
Rape is forced sexual intercourse, including vaginal, anal, or oral penetration. Penetration may be by a body part or an object.
Rape victims may be forced through threats or physical means. In about 8 out of 10 rapes, no weapon is used other than physical force. Anyone may be a victim of rape: women, men or children, straight or gay.
Sexual assault is unwanted sexual contact that stops short of rape or attempted rape. This includes sexual touching and fondling. (But, be aware: Some states use this term interchangeably with rape.)
Was it consensual?
There are three main considerations in judging whether a sexual act is consensual (which means that both people are old enough to consent, have the capacity to consent, and agreed to the sexual contact) or whether the sexual act is a crime.
Are the participants old enough to consent?
Each state sets an “age of consent,” which is the minimum age someone must be to have sex. People below this age are considered children and cannot legally agree to have sex. In other words, even if the child or teenager says yes, the law says no.
- In Montana, the age of consent is 16. In some states, the age of consent varies according to the age difference between the participants. Generally, “I thought she was 16” is not considered a legal excuse — it’s up to you to make sure your partner is old enough to legally take part.
Use this link to see the specific laws about age of consent in Montana.
Do both people have the capacity to consent?
States also define who has the mental and legal capacity to consent. Those with diminished capacity — for example, some people with disabilities, some elderly people and people who have been drugged or are unconscious — may not have the legal ability to agree to have sex.
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Use this link to see the specific laws about capacity to consent in Montana.
Did both participants agree to take part?
Did someone use physical force to make you have sexual contact with him/her? Has someone threatened you to make you have intercourse with him/her? If so, it is rape.
- It doesn’t matter if you think your partner means yes, or if you’ve already started having sex — “No” also means “Stop.” If you proceed despite your partner’s expressed instruction to stop, you have not only violated basic codes of morality and decency, you may have also committed a crime under the laws of your state (check your state’s laws for specifics).
Common concerns
I didn't resist physically.
People respond to an assault in different ways. Many victims make the good judgment that physical resistance would cause the attacker to become more violent. Lack of consent can be expressed (saying "no") or implied by the circumstances (if you were under the statutory age of consent, or had a mental deficiency, or were afraid to object due to threats of physical harm).
I am/was in a relationship with my attacker.
Rape can occur when the offender and the victim have a preexisting relationship (sometimes called "date rape" or "acquaintance rape"), or even when the offender is the victim's spouse ("spousal rape") . It does not matter whether the offender is an ex-boyfriend or a complete stranger. It doesn't matter if you've had sex in the past. If it is non-consensual this time, it is rape.
I don't remember the assault.
Just because you don't remember being assaulted doesn't necessarily mean it didn't happen and that it wasn't rape. Memory loss can result from the ingestion of GHB and other "rape drugs" and from excessive alcohol consumption. That said, without clear memories or physical evidence, it may not be possible to pursue prosecution. Talk to your local crisis center or local police for guidance.
I was asleep or unconscious when it happened.
Rape can happen when the victim was unconscious or asleep. If you were asleep or unconscious, you didn't give your consent. Without your consent, it is rape.
I or the attacker was drunk.
Alcohol and/or drugs are not an excuse or an alibi. The key question is still: did you consent or not? Regardless of whether you were drunk or sober, if the sex was non-consensual, it is rape. If you were so drunk or drugged that you passed out and were unable to consent, it was rape. Both people must be conscious and willing participants.
I thought "no," but didn't say it.
It depends on the circumstances. If you didn't say "no" because you were legitimately scared for your life or safety, it may be rape. Sometimes it isn't safe to resist physically or verbally; for example, when someone has a knife or gun to your head, or threatens you or your family if you say anything.
