Safety Planning
Every stage of your involvement with an abuser will require different stategies to ensure your safety.
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If you are getting a restraining order and your abuser is leaving your shared residence or area:
- Change your locks.
- Put dead bolt locks on your door and, if you can, replace any wood doors with steel or metal doors.
- If you have the money, think about installing a security system.
- Try to make sure that the outside of your house is well-lit. Think about getting a lighting system that lights up when a person is coming close to the house (motion sensitive lights).
- Change your phone number. Tell the phone company to not list your new phone number.
- Call the telephone company to request caller ID. Ask that your phone be blocked so that if you call, neither your partner nor anyone else will be able to get your new, unlisted phone number.
- If you can, change the hours that you work. Take different routes to work. Avoid the route you took when you and your abuser were together.
- When you're taking the children to school, take different routes. Avoid the route you took when you were with your abuser.
- Tell anyone who takes care of your children who is allowed to pick up your children. Explain your situation to them. Give them a copy of your restraining order.
- Take a different route to the grocery store, hardware store, restaurants, and any other place you go on a regular basis. Use different places if you can.
- Try not to travel alone. Stay in public and well-lit places as much as you can.
- Avoid walking or jogging alone.
- Keep a certified copy of your restraining order with you at all times.
- Let friends, neighbors and employers know that you have a restraining order in effect;
- Give copies of your restraining order to your employers, neighbors, and schools. Also give them a picture of your abuser.
- Tell people you work with about the situation. See if a receptionist or someone else can screen your calls.
- Call law enforcement if your abuser violates the order.
- Carry a cell phone if you can, but don't count on it too much. Cell phones may not get good service in some places, and batteries do run out. Ask your local domestic violence organization if they give out cell phones. Have emergency numbers like 911 on speed dial.
- If you need help in a public place, yell "FIRE". People respond more quickly to someone yelling "fire" than to any other cry for help.
- Stay in touch with your local domestic violence organization for support.
- Get a full check-up with your doctor to see if you need medical treatment. Keep in mind that your abuser may not have been faithful. Consider getting tested for sexually transmitted infections.
from the National Center for Victims of Crime
