Safety Planning
Every stage of your involvement with an abuser will require different stategies to ensure your safety.
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Safety and Emotional Health
The experience of being battered and verbally degraded by a partner is usually exhausting and emotionally draining. The process of building a new life for yourself takes much courage and incredible energy.
To conserve emotional energy and resources and to avoid difficult emotional experiences:
- Reconnect with friends and family who understand and support you. Part of an abuser's power comes from having isolated you from other people.
- Make a pact with someone you trust that you will call them if you feel depressed and ready to return to a potentially abusive situation.
- Practice ahead of time what you will say when you have to communicate with your partner in person or by telephone.
- If necessary, write out a script and stick to it. Repeat the same sentences over and over no matter what he says. An example: You have a relationship with your child, but we no longer have a relationship. I will put (child's name) on the phone.
- If he is verbally or emotionally abusive, warn him that you will leave or hang up if it continues. End the conversation if the abuse continues.
- Find books to read to learn more about domestic violence and find ways to move forward with your life.
- Attend a support group or find a personal counselor to continue your growth and healing.
